COUPLES MATH: Sometimes 1=2 and 2=3
Not for the first time, I wish English had distinct second person singular and plural pronouns instead of the all-purpose "you." Twice in the last month, I've invited someone to dinner and ended up with three of us at the table. Here's how one of the conversations went via text:
"Sharon, it's been an age since I saw you."
"You're right, we can do better. Dinner next Friday?"
Next thing I knew, my pal's husband was part of the evening. I'm crazy about him, but I wanted to have dinner with her.
My fault for not being explicit? Maybe. But why is it their showing up together is just assumed?
Questions for married and cohabiting couples:
- Do you ever ask whether an invitation extended to one of you is meant to include both of you?
- Have you ever turned down an invitation that didn't accommodate your bringing your partner?
- Have you and your partner considered establishing specific days/times when you are each free to see a friend or do something on your own without clearing it with the other?